Thanks ^_^ We will be having six routes, currently there are two routes available on public version right now- and about to have another two routes available on Patreon access.
I love this. The art is great (especially the freezer cg) and the writing is cute, and hot where it needs to be. The flashback stuff with Remy is quite dark and heavy. Are these based on your own experiences? Seems a bit too real
Just caught me off guard is all, didn't expect such themes in what looks like just a lighthearted vn. Hope you're doing better these days. Keep up the good work
I love how xou've transformed Tales of Onyx~! ^^_ I adore the new sprites, the new direction, the flashbacks, and the way that xou're approaching the story is really well thought out UwU leaving Charos's origins a mystery gives xou so many options from a writer's standpoint; I truly think this was a brilliant idea! :) I'm also really happy with how xou've incorporated sign language. The few instances xou use are done in such a seemless way that they feel natural with the overall dialogue, which is a huge success! n_n the revamp could do with a liiittle polishing, but overall, I think it's great! :D
Irma's such a funjoshi, I lovit! xD oh, and Duke? Mee-yow~ talk about muscled tsundere ^///^
If xou don't mind some feedback? I think it'd be beneficial for xou to suggest that a week passes during the time that Charos moves in with Rubio and when he gets hired. I personally feel the characters become far too familiar with each other over too short a period. Perhaps starting the 2econd day by saying something like: "A week has passed since I moved in with Rubio, and it's taken a lot of paperwork on his part, but he's finally arranged an opertunity for me to work at Amorigens Laboratory!". Not only will this extension of time allow their interactions to seem more natural, and also allow Charos time to wrap his head around the situation he's in, but it'll give Rubio the time he needs to finalise the plans he's setting in motion.
And another small note? The intro could use a little touch up, but just the instance where he wakes up in the alleyway. I know from the original story what's going on, but this rewrite felt a little empty without the original set up. If xou could focus a little more on his confusion, how he remembers he's Deaf and how weird it is to now be able to speak and hear, his memory loss, how 1ne of the only things he can recall is the prophecy, that kinda thing, I think it'll really pull it all together UwU
But overall, great work! :D It's amazing seeing how xou've transformed the story :) I can't wait to see where xou take this~
Regarding 1.4 version you downloaded, yep. However, with this 2.0 version coming on this 5th- that have changed. Depending on the love points you earned with Rubio (you just called him the doc, did you? xP) it will certainly lead to sex scene with Rubio.
Great question haha. Gabe designed the original sprites and several backgrounds. The rest of backgrounds, I made them. I'm fully aware that I'm not great at drawing backgrounds apparently. XP
Now, with Sellon (sprite/CG scenes artist) and Kang (BG artist). We're gonna be blessed by them with new content coming up every monthly. <3
Dont worry about the backgrounds, they are decent XD. I've been trying to learn how to draw on a tablet for a few months and I've been struggling hard with the differents options -__-.
I NEED to learn how to for the sake of my vn though so I Guess I'll just keep on trying until I make it possible 😓. I have absolutely no Friends in the community and I dont have THAT much money that I Can just buy Sprites for dozen of characters from an artist that doesn't know me at all ^^' XD.
Doing EVERYTHING in the development of a game is quite tedious but it doesn't seem impossible 🤔. Though I probably wont publish a build every month like much of the devs ^^'.
Heh aww thanks. To do everything on own is tedious, I know the feelings. My financial situation eventually improved over two years during the pandemic craze, so this is how the revamp is happening during the hiatus of VN here.
There is no harm done in getting to know the artists and pitch your ideas! See where you stand from there and form mutual feelings to make the dream come true.
Just finished the latest content and I really like the world setting of this VN. Really nice work, buddy! I am really look forward for the next update!
This game shows a lot of promise. I'd make two critiques.
One, as a writer and professional editor I'd tell you: show don't tell. Make sure you are describing actions and experiences of the MC. Similes and metaphors are your friends that allow the player to connect with the MC at a sensory level. It also makes it more engaging.
The second thing is the torso's: they all seem to be the same and are very much too human, it would be nice if we could get some texturing or shading on them to give it more depth.
Thank you so much for your constructive criticism, Zeph! I have several literacy devices in use, but similies and metaphors I did not think of using. It would add a nice touch to the story, I appreciate it!
Regarding the torso's- all of the current sprites designed by Gabe will be re-worked by Sellon. I'll pass your feedback to Sellon as I personally think he will understand your feedback better than I can.
100%!!! thanks friend for uploading the Android version I really appreciate it and I will also look forward to the next update !!!!!! (and also sorry for not replying you on time :( ).
Note: I use a translator xd I'm not good at English :(
At the moment Duke (the panther) is dateable and does have its own route, yes. For Rubio (the saber tooth) there is a possibility floating around, it can happen given enough reviews and funding to proceed with several other routes (They are not the only two dateable characters!).
That would be Irma, her relationship with Charos would be completely platonic because Charos is gay. There won't be a route where Charos suddenly became bisexual or straight haha. :P
What a breath of fresh air it is to have some diversity! UwU a VN's whole premis is being more than we have in reality, but folks often forget certain aspects of life along the way. Goth's get left behind, disabled people are hardly mentioned, and this is honestly the 1irst time I'm reading about Deaf people in any VN
I have this character written, who has taken a vow of silence after his family's death, and it's caused me to become inventive with how he communicates. Signing is near impossible to describe in a novel, so I think it's great that xa'll decided upon this route! ^^_
SPOILERS
I have many things I could say, but I'll stick with some basics :p
I'd like to see Eric's trauma described in more than just a passing comment. I think it'd really solidify why he's so done with life. I understand WHY he wants more, just the feeling is lost as it's mentioned so briefly, xa know? Trauma like that deserves a little more focus so we can emphasis.
The end of chapter 1ne is also too brief for me. 1nce more, the feeling of just HOW diorientating gaining speech and hearing is for him is there, but I think the scene could gain from more detail :) his Deaf life being taken away is like having his identity stolen, so I personally think it should affect Eric harder.
Otherwise, I really like the direction. The writing can be refined and polished slightly, but I honestly think xou guys can do well with what xou've got so far! n_n
It's a fresh take on isekai, and I think the defining mark that will make OOTW stand out the most is the fact the MC is Deaf. If xou can retain his thought processes of being Deaf while suddenly being able to speak, I think it'll keep xour VN unique.
But hey, this is just the 2wo cents of a fellow furry~ ^__^ keep doing what xou're doing and xa'll will learn along the way! Eager to see where the story goes :p
Wow. Your feedback is incredibly useful, I appreciate that very much!!
I agree that signing is a difficult challenge to describe in a novel, so I'm working with a group to discover and invent a method to attempt. One day, we hope to make it happen!
Parts of Eric's trauma- I certainly have a plan for it. Eric (Charos in this case) will have flashbacks that describes the trauma further and much deeper. I believe you (and other readers) will learn more as chapters go by. However, I'm going to take a look at Chapter One and see if I could sneak some details in to give it a little more fuller feeling.
For that specific scene where he get disoriented about gaining speech and hearing- you're correct on that. I'm going to improve on this and sell it stronger! :)
I can see that you have so much to say, perhaps we could take this to somewhere (Telegram perhaps?) and have a productive discussion! Really though, I'm so happy to have this constructive feedback. Thank youu ^_^
Xou're very much welcome~ n_n I'd like to see xou guys keep going, and I know how rewarding and encouraging it is to do that when xou have more followers, so I'd like to see that happen for OOTW :3
I had an inkling from when I was reading that flashbacks might have been xour plan all along :p very glad to hear xou have so much planned out! :D And it seems xou're having fun doing it, which is the best part in writing because it really does translate into xour work^w^
Ah, apologies "^-^ for personal reasons, the only other platforms I'm currently on are Furaffinity and Twitter. If xou're inclined, I'm more than happy to discuss further on either UwU
but if not, know that I'll be stalking xou here on itch.io as xou guys bring us new updates~ .3./
Haha wonderful! Yes I do, it feels great. FA sounds good to me, I've just followed ya there! @CVillacho on Twitter is a good place to check since I post updates there more often. :)
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I'm interested I like the plot and the mc, I'm also interested in how many riuntes are our rn 🤔
Thanks ^_^ We will be having six routes, currently there are two routes available on public version right now- and about to have another two routes available on Patreon access.
I love this. The art is great (especially the freezer cg) and the writing is cute, and hot where it needs to be. The flashback stuff with Remy is quite dark and heavy. Are these based on your own experiences? Seems a bit too real
Heh, thanks! Yes, it is watered-down version of my personal experiences from the past. Does it make you uncomfortable?
Just caught me off guard is all, didn't expect such themes in what looks like just a lighthearted vn. Hope you're doing better these days. Keep up the good work
I love how xou've transformed Tales of Onyx~! ^^_ I adore the new sprites, the new direction, the flashbacks, and the way that xou're approaching the story is really well thought out UwU leaving Charos's origins a mystery gives xou so many options from a writer's standpoint; I truly think this was a brilliant idea! :) I'm also really happy with how xou've incorporated sign language. The few instances xou use are done in such a seemless way that they feel natural with the overall dialogue, which is a huge success! n_n the revamp could do with a liiittle polishing, but overall, I think it's great! :D
Irma's such a funjoshi, I lovit! xD oh, and Duke? Mee-yow~ talk about muscled tsundere ^///^
If xou don't mind some feedback? I think it'd be beneficial for xou to suggest that a week passes during the time that Charos moves in with Rubio and when he gets hired. I personally feel the characters become far too familiar with each other over too short a period. Perhaps starting the 2econd day by saying something like: "A week has passed since I moved in with Rubio, and it's taken a lot of paperwork on his part, but he's finally arranged an opertunity for me to work at Amorigens Laboratory!". Not only will this extension of time allow their interactions to seem more natural, and also allow Charos time to wrap his head around the situation he's in, but it'll give Rubio the time he needs to finalise the plans he's setting in motion.
And another small note? The intro could use a little touch up, but just the instance where he wakes up in the alleyway. I know from the original story what's going on, but this rewrite felt a little empty without the original set up. If xou could focus a little more on his confusion, how he remembers he's Deaf and how weird it is to now be able to speak and hear, his memory loss, how 1ne of the only things he can recall is the prophecy, that kinda thing, I think it'll really pull it all together UwU
But overall, great work! :D It's amazing seeing how xou've transformed the story :) I can't wait to see where xou take this~
You always have great constructive criticism, I will definitely take a note of these. Thank you so much! <3
Does anyone have the old version?
I still have the old versions, what's up?
I want to play the old version ofc :)
Hehe, I see. I'll consider that, you can join the discord server and I'll be able to help you get the older version.
I saw this VN when it got recommended to me a few days ago and I must say I like what I'm seeing. Great work and can't wait for the next update
i just discovered this, its a total blast, totally recommended im really excited to see more!
Awesome! ^_^
Discovered this game and I'm loving it!
the new and old art is just simply amazing and ofc ill keep the old one safe :)
wait so we have no choice but to have sex with the doc?
Regarding 1.4 version you downloaded, yep. However, with this 2.0 version coming on this 5th- that have changed. Depending on the love points you earned with Rubio (you just called him the doc, did you? xP) it will certainly lead to sex scene with Rubio.
yea LOL i forgot his name and i remembered he looked like somewhat of a doctor at the start and ohhh alright looking forward to it!
Haha!! No problem ^_^
The New art style has allready been implemented ?
Yep! The public release will be on this 5th.
Who was the previous artist ? You ? Just curious . ^^
Great question haha. Gabe designed the original sprites and several backgrounds. The rest of backgrounds, I made them. I'm fully aware that I'm not great at drawing backgrounds apparently. XP
Now, with Sellon (sprite/CG scenes artist) and Kang (BG artist). We're gonna be blessed by them with new content coming up every monthly. <3
Dont worry about the backgrounds, they are decent XD. I've been trying to learn how to draw on a tablet for a few months and I've been struggling hard with the differents options -__-.
I NEED to learn how to for the sake of my vn though so I Guess I'll just keep on trying until I make it possible 😓. I have absolutely no Friends in the community and I dont have THAT much money that I Can just buy Sprites for dozen of characters from an artist that doesn't know me at all ^^' XD.
Doing EVERYTHING in the development of a game is quite tedious but it doesn't seem impossible 🤔. Though I probably wont publish a build every month like much of the devs ^^'.
Heh aww thanks. To do everything on own is tedious, I know the feelings. My financial situation eventually improved over two years during the pandemic craze, so this is how the revamp is happening during the hiatus of VN here.
There is no harm done in getting to know the artists and pitch your ideas! See where you stand from there and form mutual feelings to make the dream come true.
art revamp is great. cant wait for next update!
Thank you! Look forward to the public release on this 5th!
Just finished the latest content and I really like the world setting of this VN. Really nice work, buddy! I am really look forward for the next update!
Thank you! The next update is coming this 5th. It will be mostly different from the version 1.4. :)
I really enjoyed play throw this visual novel Great so far ❤️❤️
Soo excited about the upcoming updates🐼💜💜
Thank you very much 😍😘😳🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️💕
This game shows a lot of promise. I'd make two critiques.
One, as a writer and professional editor I'd tell you: show don't tell. Make sure you are describing actions and experiences of the MC. Similes and metaphors are your friends that allow the player to connect with the MC at a sensory level. It also makes it more engaging.
The second thing is the torso's: they all seem to be the same and are very much too human, it would be nice if we could get some texturing or shading on them to give it more depth.
But this game shows great promise!
Thank you so much for your constructive criticism, Zeph! I have several literacy devices in use, but similies and metaphors I did not think of using. It would add a nice touch to the story, I appreciate it!
Regarding the torso's- all of the current sprites designed by Gabe will be re-worked by Sellon. I'll pass your feedback to Sellon as I personally think he will understand your feedback better than I can.
Again, thank you!! ^_^
Of course, I take a lot of joy in editing things and helping writers make their story shine as much as they feel it should!
I really love this game!! the story and the art and characters, everything is amazing, cant wait for next update <3
Thank you! ^_^
Is there any chance of having an older, chubby dilf dateable character in future? :333
Hehe, thank you for asking! The answer is yes, Gary the dalmatian will make his debut along the path to Pharyna Ruins. ^_^
Android?
I'm still figuring out how to get that done, thanks for asking! :)
Hi Hiroshi! Since I released Android version, is it working perfectly for you? Let me know. Thanks ^_^
100%!!! thanks friend for uploading the Android version I really appreciate it and I will also look forward to the next update !!!!!! (and also sorry for not replying you on time :( ).
Note: I use a translator xd I'm not good at English :(
Thank goodness! I’m really happy to hear that. ^_^
I'd like to know if the Panther and Sabre Cat guy are dateable/will have routes. So far they seem to be the most interesting.
At the moment Duke (the panther) is dateable and does have its own route, yes. For Rubio (the saber tooth) there is a possibility floating around, it can happen given enough reviews and funding to proceed with several other routes (They are not the only two dateable characters!).
Thanks for asking ^_^
Maybe, but I'm not interested in the Gazelle, so...
That would be Irma, her relationship with Charos would be completely platonic because Charos is gay. There won't be a route where Charos suddenly became bisexual or straight haha. :P
That's a relief to hear. Can't wait to see more of your VN.
Really enjoyed this VN, great story and has hooked me in. And liking the grey panther. Great job on this look forward to the next update.
Thank you!! :)
What a breath of fresh air it is to have some diversity! UwU a VN's whole premis is being more than we have in reality, but folks often forget certain aspects of life along the way. Goth's get left behind, disabled people are hardly mentioned, and this is honestly the 1irst time I'm reading about Deaf people in any VN
I have this character written, who has taken a vow of silence after his family's death, and it's caused me to become inventive with how he communicates. Signing is near impossible to describe in a novel, so I think it's great that xa'll decided upon this route! ^^_
SPOILERS
I have many things I could say, but I'll stick with some basics :p
I'd like to see Eric's trauma described in more than just a passing comment. I think it'd really solidify why he's so done with life. I understand WHY he wants more, just the feeling is lost as it's mentioned so briefly, xa know? Trauma like that deserves a little more focus so we can emphasis.
The end of chapter 1ne is also too brief for me. 1nce more, the feeling of just HOW diorientating gaining speech and hearing is for him is there, but I think the scene could gain from more detail :) his Deaf life being taken away is like having his identity stolen, so I personally think it should affect Eric harder.
Otherwise, I really like the direction. The writing can be refined and polished slightly, but I honestly think xou guys can do well with what xou've got so far! n_n
It's a fresh take on isekai, and I think the defining mark that will make OOTW stand out the most is the fact the MC is Deaf. If xou can retain his thought processes of being Deaf while suddenly being able to speak, I think it'll keep xour VN unique.
But hey, this is just the 2wo cents of a fellow furry~ ^__^ keep doing what xou're doing and xa'll will learn along the way! Eager to see where the story goes :p
Wow. Your feedback is incredibly useful, I appreciate that very much!!
I agree that signing is a difficult challenge to describe in a novel, so I'm working with a group to discover and invent a method to attempt. One day, we hope to make it happen!
Parts of Eric's trauma- I certainly have a plan for it. Eric (Charos in this case) will have flashbacks that describes the trauma further and much deeper. I believe you (and other readers) will learn more as chapters go by. However, I'm going to take a look at Chapter One and see if I could sneak some details in to give it a little more fuller feeling.
For that specific scene where he get disoriented about gaining speech and hearing- you're correct on that. I'm going to improve on this and sell it stronger! :)
I can see that you have so much to say, perhaps we could take this to somewhere (Telegram perhaps?) and have a productive discussion! Really though, I'm so happy to have this constructive feedback. Thank youu ^_^
Xou're very much welcome~ n_n I'd like to see xou guys keep going, and I know how rewarding and encouraging it is to do that when xou have more followers, so I'd like to see that happen for OOTW :3
I had an inkling from when I was reading that flashbacks might have been xour plan all along :p very glad to hear xou have so much planned out! :D And it seems xou're having fun doing it, which is the best part in writing because it really does translate into xour work^w^
Ah, apologies "^-^ for personal reasons, the only other platforms I'm currently on are Furaffinity and Twitter. If xou're inclined, I'm more than happy to discuss further on either UwU
but if not, know that I'll be stalking xou here on itch.io as xou guys bring us new updates~ .3./
Haha wonderful! Yes I do, it feels great. FA sounds good to me, I've just followed ya there! @CVillacho on Twitter is a good place to check since I post updates there more often. :)
Really cool story so far :)
excited for Chapter 2 OwO